


Chrysantheme

by treasureflowers



Series: No one die on me! We're all going home. [VALORANT] [2]
Category: VALORANT (Video Game)
Genre: Blood, Coughing Flowers, Cypher finds it hard to forget Nora, Cypher is kinda jealous but okay, Cypher/Killjoy, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Killjoy being Raze and Sova's working buddy, What Did I Just Write, i love Cypher/Killjoy, sentrywire, why did this become so long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28708107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treasureflowers/pseuds/treasureflowers
Summary: Killjoy couldn't bring herself to tell the truth even thought the Yellow Chrysanthemum bloomed in her lungs and killed her slowly. [Cypher/Killjoy | sentrywire]
Relationships: Cypher/Killjoy (VALORANT)
Series: No one die on me! We're all going home. [VALORANT] [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2066811
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	Chrysantheme

**Author's Note:**

> Another sentrywire fanfiction since I love them so much. I don't expect this turns out L O N G.  
> I have no idea about the characters backstory so I make my own based on the voicelines and other people's headcanons.  
> I just wanna say big thanks to people for writing and drawing sentrywire. Bless y'all.  
> Also, English is not my first language so pardon me if I have some mistakes. I'll fix it soon!
> 
> Update (31/01/21): @/NewbShy on twitter drew an awesome fanart for this fanfiction! Big big thank you from me!  
> You should check it out [right here](https://twitter.com/NewbShy/status/1355860713630142464)!

**VALORANT © Riot Games**

[ Cypher/Killjoy ]

Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

* * *

She never knew that she would find _a home_ in the organization created by her guardian, Brimstone. She and Brimstone worked for Kingdom for years but they never knew how that huge company really worked. She had Brimstone to take care of her after she lost her parents in a fire. However, a year after the first light, Brimstone bade farewell and left Kingdom with one of the scientists, now known as Viper.

She thought Kingdom was her _home_. That place was her only place to come back, so she stayed.

However, after knowing what Kingdom really did with her invention, the spike and the defusers, she made up her mind and left with a set of spike-defuser and the blueprint. She couldn't stay with them anymore. She destroyed all the spikes and defusers she made but she didn’t destroy one set, the one inside the leader’s office since she had no access there, thinking that Kingdom wouldn’t have the way to recreate the spike without the blueprint.

_She was wrong._

She joined VALORANT Protocol in the cold autumn in October, two years after the First Light and the other 11 members there accepted her. They made a small party to celebrate her joining the team. It was warm and she liked it a lot. She got along with everyone, especially those who were younger than her. Talking about the older members, she also got along with them and offered them her help with technology (apparently, she dissed them a lot too since Brimstone and Breach were not good in handling high technology).

However, one person caught her attention from the very beginning.

“Greetings.” He said.

She smiled. “Hello! You must be Cypher.”

The masked man nodded and she could see the blue eyes narrowed, indicating him smiling at her. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

“Brimstone already told you about your role, right?” asked him.

Killjoy just noticed how tall this man was. The tip of her head was the same as his chin. It made her need to look up to see his eyes. His eyes were blue but she thought that it was not his real eyes as he used a mask to cover his face. She was wondering how he looked and why he didn’t show his face to the other agents.

“Killjoy?”

“A-Ah? Yes? _Entschuldigung_ **_[1]_ **, I mean, sorry. What did you say?”

The man repeated what he said, “Brimstone already told you about your role, right?”

“ _Ja_ **_[2]_ **. I’m a sentinel and I assume you are also a sentinel.”

“Why do you think so?” The man played the small black-blue disk on his hand.

“It’s because Brimstone asks you to be my supervisor. It means that you have more experience in the same field as I am. He won’t ask someone that isn’t an expert in that field.”

The man giggled. It sounded pleasant to her ears.

“Yes, you are correct. I am also a sentinel, together with Sage.”

Oh, she knew her. Sage was their only healer. The girl nodded. “She looks like the mother figure here,” mumbled her.

“Yes, she is.”

She didn’t expect he would hear her mumbling. _He has sharp ears_ , she thought.

Later, she found out that he was also very secretive and it interested her so much since she was a curious person. She wanted to know him better but he didn’t give any useful information about himself. She tried to ask the other agents about Cypher but they seemed to have no idea about him too. His bedroom was always locked and only several people had entered his room.

As an engineer who tinkered with gadgets, she often needed more wires and those who had that thing were only Cypher and Raze (since the Brazilian girl was also an engineer).

"Raze. Raze!"

“Killjoy, _minha querida_ **[3]**! What’s wrong?”

“Do you have any wires?” Killjoy asked.

Raze shook her head. “ _Não_ **[4]** but Cypher may have one.”

Killjoy grinned, thinking about something. “You’re right. _Danke schön_ **[5]** , Raze!”

And that was how she ended up in his room. The room was huge. On the left side, there was his work area while on the right side, there was his bedroom, like a bedroom _for real_. Killjoy looked at his workshop that was neat and tidy. She could directly tell that he was an organized person. Several camera models and tripwires were on the desk. She took one and looked at it closely.

She mumbled to herself while observing the camera. "It is kinda hard to break through his room. He has a good security system, as expected from a sentinel. Probably, he increases his security since Raze managed to get to his room once."

She noticed a small frame photo with a woman in it. She was a beautiful woman with long black hair and black eyes. Her skin was fair and she was smiling in that picture. She wondered who that woman was. She assumed it was one of Cypher’s family members.

“He sure loves his family a lot.”

Moving on from the photo, she found the tools to make the gadgets and muttered, “I have no idea where his wires are. I suppose I can take several from his camera.”

She started to open the camera’s body and worked in silence.

Until a voice startled her.

"Ehem."

Killjoy almost lost her grip on the camera. She turned slowly to see Cypher standing near the door. She couldn't see his expression at all since he used a mask to cover his face.

"What are you doing here?" asked him with a monotone voice but she could see his blue robotic eyes squinted.

She put down the camera on the desk, hiding it from him, while avoiding his eyes. Her cheek was a bit flushed. “Um, one of my alarm bots is malfunctioning. When I check it, there is something wrong with the wires and I … have no wires.”

Then she smiled awkwardly, “I asked Raze for wires but she said you might have it. I have no idea where the wires are so I … took it from your, um, camera.” Her voice was gradually decreasing.

“And you decided to break into my room?” Cypher asked again, still maintaining his emotionless voice.

“I just … wanna know how tight your security is since I heard from Brimstone that Raze once managed to come into your room.” Killjoy was actually not lying since she did want to know how good her fellow sentinel was.

The girl had anticipated that Cypher would get angry at her but the man just stood there silently and made her even more nervous. She jolted when the tall man walked closer and stood in front of her. She was wedged between him and his workbench. He leant to open his drawer and took 2 sets of wires.

“You can just ask if you need something,” said Cypher and gave the wires to her, “before coming and tinkering with my gadgets.”

“Wait, really?” She asked in disbelief. Well, she was ready to get kicked out or something but no, he didn’t do that.

“Yes. Just let me know if you need wires or something.” He backed up, giving a larger space between him and her.

“Thanks!” Killjoy said with a smile before walking away from him. “I think I shall get back to my room.”

“Who says you can leave this place?”

Killjoy stopped walking and turned around; just to see him holding the broken camera. He waved the camera in silence and she already knew what he wanted even when he didn’t say it directly. Killjoy’s shoulder dropped down as she walked back to his workbench.

It seemed that she would not be able to repair her bot right away but at least, she could get to know him and his gadgets better.

* * *

Around a year after she joined VALORANT Protocol, she was sent along with Cypher, Sova, Reyna, and Omen to Bind located in Rabat, Morocco. They got information from the last mission in Haven that there would be a big shipment of radianite to Bind and Kingdom was planning to take it. Of course they couldn’t let the radianite fall into Kingdom's hand.

“So, tomorrow, we have a mission in Bind to secure the radianite.”

Brimstone held a paper holder and read it. He called the agents who would be assigned to go there and Cypher’s name was called. Killjoy glanced at him and noticed how quiet and tense Cypher was whenever Brimstone assigned him to go to Bind. She knew that the man had _a past_ there but she never really asked him about it.

Killjoy could say the mission wasn’t as hard as she expected. She and Sova defended B site while Cypher, Omen, and Reyna defended A site. Killjoy put her alarm bot near the B long while she put her turret facing the B window, in case the clones showed up from there. The girl was at B hall, hiding from the enemy, while Sova was at B elbow.

She didn’t wait long until her turret started firing but her turret was destroyed instantly. She hid for a while, not giving her position to the enemy. She peeked and saw the Brimstone clone and the Sage clone at B window. She could also hear at least two people running at B long.

“They are at B site.” She put her finger on the earpiece, whispering. “Pushing B site.”

Then, she could hear the spike being planted.

“ _Spike planted._ ” She could hear Sova talking with his Russian accent. “ _On the right side of the middle box._ ”

“ _Roger that_.” Omen’s voice could be heard clearly.

She could see Cypher came towards her. She didn’t see Omen and Reyna following him as Omen teleported to B fountain and Reyna rotated to B window. Sova, who was waiting with his Operator, saw the Sage clone and shot her right in the head. It alerted the other clones. The Breach clone used his ability and stunned Sova from afar. Killjoy made noise in B hall, tried to get the Breach clone’s attention (and the other clones) as he stopped walking right in the middle of B elbow and B site; not knowing Omen was waiting there with his Phantom and shot the Breach clone in the head once and chest 4 times.

The Brimstone clone and the Jett clone went towards B hall’s door, thinking that there was only Killjoy there. They didn’t know that Cypher already waited for them in the opposite direction from Killjoy. As they walked and turned left, both of their heads were blown by Cypher’s Judge and Killjoy’s Vandal.

The clones’ bloods splattered to Cypher’s clothes.

The site was clear and Omen defused the spike.

“Let’s split up to search the area so we can get more information about the possible location for the next shipment.” Cypher said, “Let’s meet at the entrance 10 minutes from now. Killjoy, you will be in charge of patrolling the area.”

“Alright! Leave it to me.” Killjoy smiled.

The agents walked in different directions. Omen and Reyna went to the rooms in B hall. Cypher and Sova were checking the laboratorium in A tower. Killjoy was setting her bots on B site just in case there was an enemy. Then, she jumped to B window and started walking to the market area in the middle of the map. She walked slowly since her body felt really tired.

“My body feels sore.” She mumbled to herself. “I should take a warm bath after this.”

She widened her eyes as she heard someone walking from A link.

‘ _Someone’s here!_ ’

Killjoy walked towards the sound and found Cypher stood there, staring at the spices. He was really quiet, just like he usually was whenever they were in Bind. The girl approached him slowly without making a loud noise, a little bit afraid of disturbing him.

“Cy—”

The next thing she felt was a sharp pain in her chest and stomach as _Cypher_ , no, the Cypher clone blasted his Bucky to her. She fell down to the floor but Fortuna was really on her side as this clone’s reflex and aim were not as good as her. With a one tap in the head using the Sheriff, the clone fell down.

Her body felt numb for a while and she got a sudden pain all over her body after that. She could feel the blood started to stain her clothes. She got cuts on her face too. Her grip on the Sheriff loosened. With all the energy left in her body, she touched the earpiece.

“G-Guys …, help … me,” whispered her, then hissed.

“ _Killjoy?_ ” She could hear Reyna’s voice.

“Market …. I-I … got … shot.”

She couldn’t even speak in a clear voice as she breathed heavily.

“ _We’ll be there soon._ ” She could hear Cypher’s voice.

“ _Hang in there._ ” Then Sova’s voice.

_Am I going to die here? Really?_

“ _S-Scheiße_ **_[6]._ **”

She couldn’t help but laugh tiredly. She didn’t want to die here since she still had a lot of things she wanted to do. She still wanted to create more things, go to more missions, get her revenge on Kingdom, play, talk, and have fun with other agents.

_Love someone._

“Little Engineer!”

Ah, Killjoy noticed the only person who called her that here. She felt her body was held and carried in the back carefully. She tried to stay awake but damn, she was _so tired_. She tried to focus on the voices around her to prevent her from losing consciousness.

Helicopter voice. Sova’s voice. Footsteps.

“Little Engineer ..., don’t sleep. Don’t rest now. Stay with me, … okay?”

Cypher’s voice. His voice sounded really nice to be heard. _Since when he has this nice voice_ , she wondered.

However, his voice also sounded … sad, desperate, and painful.

Then, she couldn’t pay attention to anything as her eyes closed.

.

.

.

.

.

Killjoy felt cold but it was … soothing.

She opened her eyes and saw the white ceiling. Everything was blurry. Glancing to the left, she noticed a figure looked like Cypher was sitting beside her bed. showing his back to her, and talking to two people who were standing.

“She is fine now, Cypher. Don’t worry.” Sage said.

_Oh, it is Sage._

“She is a strong girl, you know?”

_Brimstone is here too._

“I’m sorry, Captain. I shouldn’t have let my guard down and asked her to wander around on her own.”

Cypher clenched his fist. As the team leader for the mission, he should have protected everyone in the team, making sure that no one gets hurt under his command. However, seeing Killjoy’s body covered in blood and scars scared him. The memory of someone dying with blood all over her body awakened and it terrified him. He didn’t want to lose his family in VALORANT Protocol. _He didn’t want to feel the pain again._

Brimstone shook his head. “We all make mistakes, Cypher. Do not—”

“Guys ….”

Killjoy whispered and it startled everyone in the room.

“Killjoy?” Both Sage and Cypher called her at the same time.

The healer got closer to her and asked, “Are you feeling okay now?”

Killjoy nodded and spoke with a hoarse voice, “Yeah, I’m … fine but I can’t see anything.”

Sage just realized that the girl didn’t wear her glasses. She took her spectacles from the desk and gave it to her. After using her glasses, her sight was clear and she could see the three people in front of her. Then, Sage took a glass of water and gave it to her.

Her throat was parched and this glass of water made it better.

Killjoy remembered what happened to her in Bind. She almost lost her life because she mistaken the clone as the real Cypher.

“I shouldn’t have lowered my guard,” said her. “I’m sorry.”

Brimstone stood beside her bed. He ruffled her black hair. “Our mission is successful because of you. I will make sure that no one dies in my watch, kid, especially you. MIstakes happen but don’t be too harsh on yourself.”

“Killjoy won’t be assigned to battle until she is fully recovered.” He continued then gave a salute before leaving the room.

“Cypher, please look after Killjoy. I’m going to the other agents’ room to treat them.”

“Alright.”

“Thanks, Sage.” Killjoy smiled.

“It’s my duty to make everyone stay in shape, no need to thank me.” Sage smiled back before closing the infirmary door, leaving her with Cypher.

The room was filled in silence as she watched Cypher look down and move the tripwire in his right hand between his fingers. She could feel her heartbeat went faster as there were only the two of them in that room. She was not able to see his face but she noticed his body was a bit tense.

“I’m sorry, Killjoy.”

Killjoy shook her head and spoke, almost like a whisper in the end. “No, it wasn’t your fault, Cypher. I misrecognized the quiet clone as you since you are … always more quiet when we have a mission in Bind.”

Of course she noticed that when everybody else didn’t. She had always been an inventor so she was an observant person, just like him that was trying to hide his feelings whenever he was sent to Bind. She noticed something was off but she didn’t know what the cause was and she was dying to find out.

Cypher looked up, saw the girl’s features before standing up and walking to the infirmary door.

_Wait, is he going to leave?_

"Cypher, I—"

"Please rest, Killjoy. I'm going to meet Sage."

_Don't leave._

The door was closed and she was alone.

* * *

Her wound from that mission in Bind was healed perfectly. She could walk, run, jump, and do anything she wanted. However, it only lasted for two weeks before she started feeling pain in her chest; not in the same spot where she was shot. It was weird since Sage's healing orb should heal her fully so it was confirmed that this pain wasn't coming from her wound two weeks ago.

Killjoy wasn't able to do heavy exercise or run too long. It was hard for her to breath and it irritated her a little bit. Killjoy didn't want to go to Sage since she didn't want to make Sage worried too much over this _small_ problem. She knew that Sage also often worked as their 'control' and she had things to do. Sage being too tired was the last thing Killjoy wanted. She was still going on missions in Split, Ascent, Haven, and Bind; just like usual.

Until one day, when she was in her laboratorium in the middle of the night, she felt her respiratory tract was blocked by something. She was unable to breathe. Then, she felt something in her throat, an unfamiliar object. She coughed, tried to get that thing out of her throat.

It was _flower petals._

The colour was yellow, similar to her own yellow jacket. There were three of them, covered in saliva.

Her eyes widened. Killjoy never knew about this. This was weird. No human could cough out _flowers_ like she just did.

"Fuck." She cursed under her breath.

She couldn't tell anyone about this. No one should know about it and this would be her _secret_. However, her secret didn't last long since VALORANT Protocol had the healer and sentinel, Sage, who was also extremely observant.

"Welcome back."

Brimstone greeted the team consisting of Sova, Killjoy, Jett, Phoenix, and Viper that just came back from Bind. Sage was there too with a soft smile.

"Greetings, Captain," said Sova.

"Good work for today. Take a good rest. We'll have a debrief here, the meeting room, one and a half hours from now. Dismiss."

"Thanks, Brim!"

Phoenix and Jett said at the same time before going to the infirmary to meet their new radiant healer from Australia, Skye, that just joined them a week ago. Viper left the area in silence. Sova said a small 'thank you' before leaving the room. Killjoy smiled at both Brimstone and Sage and followed Sova.

Killjoy looked pale and ill, especially when the pain in her chest hit her like a truck. She stopped walking when Sova was gone in that corner. She was in the urge of coughing but she couldn’t or else people would find out. Unluckily for her, Sage just got out from the meeting room and saw her.

“Killjoy.”

Sage’s voice gave her goosebumps. She looked at her, sweating a little bit, before answering. “Sage! What’s wrong?”

“You haven’t got healed. Come with me.”

“Ah …, yeah.” Killjoy nodded.

Sage walked in front of her and led the way. However, she realized when Sage turned left instead of right, then stopped in front of Killjoy’s bedroom.

“Sage.”

“Hm?”

“The infirmary is … on the right and this is my room.” Killjoy stopped walking.

“I know. The infirmary is occupied by the other agents so I’ll heal you here, is it okay?”

Killjoy broke out into a cold sweat. She hadn’t disposed of the flower petals in her room. If Sage entered her room, she would find out the flowers.

“Um, Sage, my room is really messy right now! Should we go—”

The pain struck her again and her legs couldn’t support her body. She collapsed to the ground while closing her mouth, holding back the cough and flowers from her lungs. Sage rushed in to Killjoy and held her, bringing the young engineer to her room.

“The password, Killjoy.”

“0504.” Killjoy whispered.

Sage entered the number and helped Killjoy to walk to her own bed. Sage noticed a bag of flower petals below the nightstand but she didn’t mention it since Killjoy was still in a terrible condition. Sage laid Killjoy down on the bed and tucked the blanket since the girl was shaking and shutting her eyes tight. She prepared her healing orb and began to use the orb on her. Killjoy started to calm down a little and open her eyes, seeing Sage looked so worried.

“I know something is wrong with you, Killjoy. Why don’t you tell me?” Sage tried to stay calm.

“Sorry, Sage.”

“I see a bag of flower petals below your nightstand.” Sage walked towards the bag and examined it. “It looks like Chrysanthemum. We don’t have Chrysanthemum in the garden. Mind telling me where do you get it?”

Killjoy sat down and looked at her own hand. She couldn’t lie anymore since Sage already found the evidence. “I think … I have Hanahaki Disease.”

“I know about that illness.” Sage said, didn’t sound surprised, then gazed at the window sadly. “Before First Light, I had someone who suffered from that illness too.”

Killjoy stayed silent.

“Do you like someone here?” asked Sage.

She nodded.

“I don’t think I need to ask that since it’s clear for me.” Sage sat down at the edge of Killjoy’s bed. “It’s Cypher, isn’t it?”

Killjoy sighed. “Am I that obvious, Sage?”

Sage shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe I am just too observant.”

Killjoy laughed before the sharp pain stopped her. The girl covered her mouth with one hand and stood up, startled the healer. She ran towards the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. Sage followed her and used an orb, trying to soothe her. It made her a bit frustrated since she couldn’t help her much.

Sage’s healing orbs couldn’t remove the flowers in Killjoy’s lungs. It could only help to soothe her.

“Sorry for throwing up in front of you, Sage.” Killjoy sighed and wiped her mouth with a tissue before flushing the flower petals.

“It’s okay. Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Killjoy walked back to her bed and threw herself there, then sat down.

“Are you going to tell him?”

“No.” Killjoy shook her head. “I, I can’t. I don’t want to ruin my relationship with him.”

“Then, are you going to get rid of it?”

“Another no from me.” Unexpectedly, Killjoy smiled at her. “I’ve never been in love for a long time, Sage. I don’t want to just see him and not feel anything. It is scary, you know?”

“Killjoy, do you know how dangerous this illness is?”

“I know, Sage and I will not change my decision.” Killjoy placed her hand on Sage’s shoulder. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry. I’ve survived some bad shits before.”

“Does Brimstone know about this?”

“What are you talking about? Of course, no and I’m not planning to tell him soon.” Killjoy glared at the healer. “Don’t tell him or anyone else, Sage. I don’t want to make him worry. He has a lot to think about. I don’t want this to be a burden for him.”

“But—”

“I will tell them myself when I find the right time. I promise. Well, I am not good at promising something but I’ll try, okay?”

After that, Sage never mentioned anything to the other agents. Killjoy was glad that Sage gave her trust to her. Killjoy acted like there was nothing wrong with her and still went to attend missions. Sage gave her painkillers from the infirmary to reduce the pain if it became overwhelming and told her to not consume it too much since she didn’t want Killjoy to overdose.

About Cypher, Killjoy tried to avoid the man for weeks. She didn’t go to his lab anymore or tried to break into his room like she previously did. She reduced the interaction between them and only talked to him when she was asked. She knew that Cypher would probably notice her sudden change of behavior towards him but there was nothing she could do besides reducing her interaction with him. Interacting with him made her chest hurt but she was too stubborn and didn’t want to get rid of the root.

.

.

.

.

.

Cypher was confused.

_‘Does she avoid me? But why?’_

Cypher could only stare at the girl’s back as Killjoy walked to her laboratorium with Brimstone to repair his bracer. It had been three weeks since she started changing her behavior around Cypher. Previously, Cypher could say that Killjoy was pretty close to him as they often spent time together to work with their gadgets or just annoyed or teased each other. Cypher noticed that she talked normally with the other agents. She still went to Raze’s laboratorium when the Brazilian girl asked her. She still visited Sova’s room when the Russian man needed her help. Sometimes, she still joined the troublemaker trio’s shenanigans and made Brimstone scold them for a half an hour. She still hung out with the spooky ghost boy, Omen, since she wasn’t afraid of him.

_It was normal for everyone but him._

He was sure that Killjoy kept a secret and it bothered him. He would try to find the right moment to talk about this with Killjoy.

* * *

The temperature was pretty low in late November but they still had missions to do. That day, Killjoy alongside Cypher, Sage, Jett, and Viper were sent to Haven to prevent Kingdom from taking the radianite. Sage, as the mission leader, did her job well in commanding the other agents so the mission could be completed easily. Jett was also weirdly cooperative today since she usually liked to dash around and fight aggressively.

Killjoy looked a lot paler than before as she kept wanting to throw out the flowers. However, she couldn't do that. They were on a mission and she ended up almost choking herself with the petals several times. Gladly the clones didn't go to C site, the place she was guarding, so she was safe.

After the spike in A site was defused and the clones were killed, they tried to gather information as usual. Jett was assigned to make sure there was no clone left while Killjoy took care of the spike. Viper, Cypher, and Sage were gathering papers that could lead to their next mission.

"Killjoy, are you okay by yourself?" asked Sage, half whispering.

"Don't worry! I'll be fine. You can trust my bots." The girl smiled while setting up her bots. "They will make sure no one gets close to the spike."

Killjoy knew what Sage meant by those words. but Killjoy couldn't say anything else besides making sure that she was fine by herself. After all of them left, Killjoy sighed and went to A tower to shelter from the snow. It was November and snow started falling down. The heat packs in her body really helped to make her stay warm the whole mission. She leant down to the white wall. all with the spike in her right. She clenched her fist and coughed.

The girl ran down to the back side of A tower after recalling her bots and threw up in the snow.

She could see blood staining the petals.

_‘This is bad.’_

She took a handkerchief from her jacket and wiped her mouth. Another sighed left her mouth. “ _Scheiße_. I should have brought the painkillers with me.”

“Little Engineer?”

Killjoy froze for five second before turning around to him. “O-Oh, Cypher! You scare me.”

Cypher came forward. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I am okay! Just a little cold,” said her and smiled. “Do you need something?” 

“I would like to ask something if you don’t mind.”

“No, I, I don’t mind. What do you—”

Killjoy closed her mouth and coughed. Her head hurt like hell and her sight was blurry. She stepped back, trying to get her balance back. Cypher brought her into his embrace with one hand as the other hand was used to touch his earpiece.

“Sage, Killjoy is sick.”

Sage gasped a little before saying, “ _Collect everything you can find. We are leaving now. We’ll gather at A site to help Cypher and Killjoy. Our ride has arrived at the entrance._ ”

Killjoy’s legs gave up and she almost fell again if Cypher didn’t hold her. The man decided to carry her since she couldn’t use her legs. His eyes scanned the surroundings and found a pile of flower petals covered in blood.

_‘Blood? In flower petals?’_

Cypher looked at Killjoy in his arms. Her whole body was shaking and her face was pale. She clenched her fist tight. Blood stain was spotted in her lips and he noticed blood also stain her gloves. As she lost consciousness, the grip of her hand began decreasing until her palm opened. He recognized the bloody petals in her hand and they were the same as those on the ground.

.

.

.

.

.

“How is Killjoy’s condition?”

Sage stopped using her healing orb on Killjoy and sat down. “She is okay now.”

“I want to ask you something, Sage,” said Cypher while looking at the woman, “and I want you to be honest with me.”

Sage sighed. She knew what the man was going to ask. “I’ll try.”

“When I found her, she was coughing. Then, I found bloody flower petals on the floor and they were the same as the ones in her hand when she collapsed. Coughing and flower petals .... Before I joined here, I knew someone who had the same thing as her.” Cypher paused and took a look at her, “Is her condition the same as what I am thinking now?”

“She told me not to tell anyone else.”

Cypher walked towards the window. Instead of responding to Sage's words, he asked, “Would you like to hear a story, Sage?”

Sage didn’t respond, only looked at him in silence.

“I never tell this to anyone else so you’ll be the first to hear it.” Cypher pulled out his tripwire and moved it around his fingers. “Do you remember when Killjoy was shot?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I was terrified, terrified to death. At that moment, I couldn’t think of anything else other than making sure she was alive. It was the exact same feeling when Nora, the woman that I loved the most, was _taken_ from me. I thought I couldn’t lose her like I lost Nora. I almost lost my control that day.”

Cypher clenched his fist as he remembered what happened to Killjoy. “I didn’t know what happened but she seemed to avoid me since that day. I really wanted to ask her but I couldn’t find the right time.”

“The first time I met her, I thought that she was like a kitten, very curious about everything. I was interested in her but I didn’t think I would find her presence change my life like this. It was a bit irritating seeing her get so close with Sova.” Cypher paused, “Is it love? I thought. I was afraid that if one day I could meet Nora again in the afterlife after seeing another woman, I would be disowned.”

“However, is that what she really wants from me?” He looked at Sage. “Behind every happiness, there will be pain too but I can’t run away from my happiness, just like what someone once said to me. Do you know what it means, Sage?”

“I know,” Sage nodded, remembering that she was the one who told him that, “and yes. The answer to your previous question … is a yes. Her condition is the same as you think.”

“Is it because of me, Sage?”

“Not anymore.”

Cypher giggled. “Thank you for listening to me and answering my question.”

“Anytime, Cypher.” Sage stood up and walked towards the exit. “Alright, I’m gonna leave you two alone. If I still see her coughing flowers tomorrow, I’ll let Brimstone know and make him return you to dust.”

* * *

A nice scent of flowers filled Killjoy’s lungs. It had been a while since the last time she could breath without struggling. She groaned a bit since her body felt a bit sore when she tried to move.

_‘How long did I sleep?’_

She turned his body to the right and opened her eyes, then sat down at the edge of her bed after wearing her glasses. She looked down to see herself only wearing her mission outfit minus the yellow jacket and green beanie. Killjoy noticed a jade colour vase with fresh flowers, pink and violet chrysanthemums, when she was looking at her nightstand. She didn’t remember having a vase of flowers in her bedroom. Tilting her head, she moved to touch the flowers. Killjoy recognized them right away as she had the same flower in her lungs but in different colour.

“Are they chrysanthemums?”

“Yes, they are chrysanthemums. Beautiful, aren’t they?”

Killjoy jumped from her bed and turned around to see Cypher on the other side of her bed with more casual clothes, black jeans with long sleeves white shirt, beige knitted vest, and a white fedora. The man was sitting down and tapping the tripwire in his hand.

“Cypher?! What are you doing in my room?” She asked, almost yelled.

“So this is what I get after saving you, Little Engineer? My heart is hurt.”

Killjoy tried to recall her memory. She remembered that she and the other agents were assigned to go to Haven. Then, they had succeeded to defuse the spike and she guarded the spike. After that, she felt her chest hurt and she couldn’t breathe. She coughed petals.

 _‘Wait. I can breath properly now. I am sure I have Hanahaki but why_ — _’_

Her eyes widened and she looked at him with disbelief eyes.

“So, do you remember now?”

“ _Verdammt nochmal, Cypher_ **_[7]_ **.”

Killjoy muttered as she hid her face behind her palm and tears just streamed down her cheek. Cypher put back his tripwire and walked towards her. He stopped in front of her and looked down to see the crying girl. Holding her shoulder lightly, he waited for her permission and as she neither flinched nor moved away, Cypher pulled her into his embrace.

Only god knew how long they stayed like that. Silence filled the room but it was comfortable so they didn't mind. Only the clock ticking and the sound of the air conditioner could be heard. Killjoy was the first one to let go of the hug. Her eyes turned red and a bit swollen as she looked at his masked face.

"This is embarrassing," muttered her with a flushed face. "I-I'm sorry for crying and staining your clothes like that."

Cypher shook his head. "No worries, Little Engineer."

"So, um, how long did I sleep …?" asked Killjoy.

Cypher needed to look down since the girl was much shorter than him. "Around 13 hours. Your condition was … terrible." His tone changed a bit in the end.

"That's why my body aches like hell," She said, "but my lungs are—"

She stopped talking and Cypher noticed.

"I know about your condition from Sage. Don't get mad at her. I was the one who _forced_ her to speak."

Well, Sage literally ended up saving her life by telling him the truth when Killjoy couldn't do that. Killjoy would never have the courage to tell him and she probably could end up in her dying bed if it was not from Sage. She owed Sage her life. She reminded herself to thank her later.

Cypher still put his hand around her waist, holding her. He didn’t want to let her go as if she would shattered into pieces if he didn’t hold her gently. He saw Killjoy’s cheeks still flushed and he found it adorable. Seeing her this close to him, he realized how pretty she truly was. Her thick eyebrows, her long eyelashes, her plump pink lips, every part of her was gorgeous.

“C-Cypher?” Killjoy called him, noticing his blue eyes stared at her.

“You don’t have CCTV in this room, right?”

Killjoy tilted her head. “No. Why?”

Cypher brought his left hand to remove his hat and threw it lightly to her bed. Then, he pressed a button near his neck, successfully making the girl’s eyes widened. His mask was opened and she could see his features behind the mask. He had medium brown wavy hair, a slight tan skin colour, and a pair of dark greyish blue eyes. She never found someone that had that eye colour before.

“Surprised?”

Killjoy froze. He looked stunning in her eyes. “O-Of course, I am! I didn’t think that you were gonna open your mask.”

“I found out your secret so I should share mine too.” Cypher said and brought her closer. “Besides that, I can’t kiss you if I use my mask.”

Killjoy’s face was burning. “Cypher!”

The Chrysanthemum that once bloomed in her lungs, now bloomed in _their_ heart. They promised they would take care of those flowers and make sure they stayed alive no matter what, until death did them apart.

**Author's Note:**

> [1] Sorry (German)  
> [2] Yes (German)  
> [3] my sweetheart (Portuguese)  
> [4] No (Portuguese)  
> [5] Thank you very much/Thanks a lot (German)  
> [6] S-Shit (Germany)  
> [7] Damn you (Germany)  
> Also, the title means Chrysanthemum in German.  
>   
> Hanakotoba:  
> \- Yellow Chrysanthemum means neglected, rejected, or unrequited love.  
> \- Pink Chrysanthemum means gentle affection, love, and devotion.  
> \- Violet Chrysanthemum means 'get well soon'.
> 
> -w-
> 
> I'm planning to write more sentrywire, paraheal, and blazewind in the future since I love them.  
> See you later!


End file.
